Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Love My Coworkers

Text message convo between me and my coworker Chris:

Chris: Jen
12:05 pm

Chris: Jen
12:06 pm

Chris: Jenny
12:06 pm

Chris: Jen
12:06 pm

Chris: Jennifer
12:07 pm

Chris: J Lu
12:07 pm

Chris: Jenn
12:07 pm

Chris: Jenni
12:07 pm

Jen: OMG WHAT CHRIS!?!?!?!
12:08 pm

Chris: Hi
12:08 pm

(Chris is almost 40 years old btw)

Cher Face

This morning I kept asking my kitten Cher:
"Why are you such a Cher-face? Huh Cher? Why do you have such a tiny little Cher-face?"
She didn't answer me, she just looked at me like:
"I don't know Jenny, I just don't know why I'm such a Cher-face, but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I find out why."
This morning made me realize that I need to stop talking to the cats so much, I'm turning legit crazy. Even they look at me like I'm crazy.

Such a Cher-Face!

Monday, October 24, 2011


Dear Monday,

I don't know if you did this on purpose or not, but today you weren't such an asshole. I had a really good day, wasn't tired from the weekend and really had a productive day. All this means is that it is time for us to call a truce...for now....

I know how you are and I know you'll be back next week with a vengeance.  That said, I'm going to enjoy this week and hope you feel obliged to throw a few more happy Mondays my way on a consistent basis.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

It's a Fumpkin

So last night my roommate Sammy and I decided to carve our Halloween pumpkin. She was busy sanding and spray-painting her new dresser so I actually handled all of the gutting and carving of the pumpkin. It was the first time in about 15 years that I have carved a pumpkin and happened to be the first time in my life I have ever done the whole thing by myself.

I sketched a few prototypes before drawing them on the pumpkin (Disclaimer: I'm no artist, never claimed to be, I know these look like an 8-year old child drew them.).

While I was working on my sketches, I was showing them to Sam to get her input. After drawing the first one (3 round holes, supposed to be a "boo!" or scared face, but really looks like bowling ball holes) Sam said, draw the eyes like upside down "u's"—to which I responded: "you mean "n's"? I also tried to do a "scream mask" face but the mouth looked more like a bicycle seat than a mouth, so I scrapped it.

I know you can't tell from the picture above, but these sketches were drawn on very official, very high-quality sketch paper—i.e. the back of my State Farm Insurance bill:

After all was said and done, I decided to go with the "upside down u" eyes and "boo!" / scared face mouth.

I was so excited and proud of my work that I couldn't even wait to go buy a proper jack-o-lantern candle and just grabbed the scented candle from the upstairs bathroom. So I lit the lavender breeze candle, placed inside the hollowed out pumpkin, turned off the lights and stepped back to admire my work:

The mouth looks like a glory hole :( My artistic genius created a fuck pumpkin, a fumpkin if you will. I think I need to make another trip to the pumpkin patch to try this again. This next time I'll try to make sure my Halloween spirit doesn't result in pumpkin porn.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Dear Mondays....

Oh hey Monday!!! You suck.

I don't know why but Mondays have become so wickedly miserable to deal with lately. I guess this is a good thing because it means that my weekends have become a lot more fun than usual so I'm dreading leaving them for the work week. Even so, Mondays are painful.

Oh well...I guess I'll just start loving and appreciating Fridays even more now. So the more I hate Mondays is >= how much I love Fridays. Math fixes everything.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Guide me home....

I forgot how much I love this song.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

New Low?

It is a very common occurrence that I pause and think to myself: 'wow Jen, is THIS a new low?'

Every Tuesday night is one of those, because it's when my friend Ramzy comes over to watch Glee.

While just watching Glee really isn't that sad—stopping at Wendy's or Taco Bell right before is. There are 50 fast food joints right by my new house and I don't usually get home until about 6:30 so in order to make it home for Glee by 7, something fast is necessary.

Now all of this sounds and feels like a pretty low point, but it gets worse. Glee wasn't on tonight because of the MLB playoffs. So all of our excitement was just shot-down when we realized there would be know Gay-Glee-Party tonight.

There is no easy seg-way into what happened next, so I'll just say it. I played Dr. Mario for about an hour before getting into bed and writing this blog.

Reality TV, Glee and Wii Dr. Mario are all  things that make me happy and I am going to own that.